What to Do With a Rift?

What to do when there is a rift. How I despise them. Why must the pain of the rift be greater than the pain of the conflict? Long ago I had pride (before my fall) that I was so good at relationship that I could prevent any rift. That was not true. That would only be in the hands of my God. Only He could prevent rifts. What do you do when the pain of relationship seems too hard? What do you do when you've given many chances - it seems an infinite number - and the chances are dissolved into each betrayal? What do you do when you gave your heart and your "friend" (knowing you, you thought) found greater pain in having relationship than in destroying it? What do you do? You forgive. You continue to give chances. You love with His love, not your love. You "feed on all that is gained and nothing that is lacking" (I love your words Bill Johnson). You "plant the seed of your lack by giving it back to God in thanksgiving, so that it may reap the spiritual justice and good fruit instead of barrenness, death, loneliness and infinite lack". I will choose to believe and not fear, because my God is pouring out His grace on me and on my weakness. His grace blows into my limp, hollow life like breath blows up an empty balloon, so that it is tight and round and full and ready for it's destiny. Without Him, I am nothing. His grace washes over my parched and cracked and hard heart, changing me from old and leathered like an ancient skin to new subtle, fresh and elastic, like a baby. Like a baby from the inside out, from elastic bones to subtle skin - resilient. My God is resilient, therefore, so am I. I love Him. Everything He asks is worth it. One last note: With the pain of this, we step further into our destiny, not because God brings pain, but because He brings the way out and shapes us into something new in the process.

My Window

I love the shining light pouring through my foyer window
no matter what the source, I love that shining window
sometimes the light is very bright and hot - you might say scalding
and sometimes it is comfortingly warm, flowing soothingly through that window
Warmth is a very interesting thing, from soothing to annoying
it may chase the deepest cold from your bones
or cause tossing to keep you from sleeping
Heat is evidence of energy imparted:
a loving hug, a healing touch, a love just started.
no matter what years have passed, I long for that energy
from my God, from my friend, from my sweet love's kisses
as I said it matters not the source of warmth and light
from moon and stars to shining sun, from God direct - He is so bright,
but though all the light and all the heat have some positive contribution
without a doubt, it is His light that has changed my constitution